Ranting Addict

Hello. Another rant is coming in. Ready? Okay this is not the literal diary like the title suggests. 'Diary' here i refer to life journal that i put on the net for all this while. To actually reflect things back, i have a littttle bit of regret of deleting almost everything i posted online - on all of my social media platforms that i own in the past - be it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Askfm, Sarahah, etc etc (with multiple accounts that i used to create back then). Blogger too (i have a few blogs before this one). Quite a number of platforms.  I think i started to be an active internet user since i was in form 3. It started earlier than that but i can't recall much since i have a very limited access to internet and mayyybe i was too into 'studying', that i don't indulge myself much in internet stuffs. Form 3, i started to own a Facebook account and that starts my so-called-approaching-agenda to a few senior-crush. Kinda stupid thing to do. But yea...

hello. it's time again for another ranting session (which i did quite frequent lately. lol maybe i'm having too much of free time of being unemployed) so yesterday, i had an interview for a job - a dental assistant to be exact. and that was like.. my very first time of attending to a job interview - a virtual interview via Google Meet. yep, at the age of 25. what an achievement, i know. attending an interview - makes me realized a lot. i figured, i actually have been avoiding 'adulting' stuffs a lot, includes how i actually would want my future to be. there's a few step that i need to get it done prior to the interview. i have sent my resume and cover letter through Indeed.com, and i was asked to fill in a questionnaire via Google Form specifically for that company. commonly-expected questions asked, but they took me a good an hour to actually reflect myself and give my best-honest-but-simple answers. some of the questions that got me pondering: why do you want to w...

Mungkin.. setiap daripada kita merasakan perkara yang sama. Merasakan 'kurang' berbanding yang lain. Mungkin.. kita juga sering kali terlupa untuk bersyukur. Kita terlalu memandang rendah terhadap apa yang kita punya walhal semuanya cukup terhidang dan tidak pula kita merasakan susah kerana hal tersebut. Cuma.. mungkin hati ini terlalu tamak mahukan perkara yang orang lain ada, yang kita kira ‘lebih’. Dan aku fikir, mungkin kita patut menyenaraikan apa yang kita punya dan capai, berbanding berterusan melihat dan mengagumi kepunyaan orang lain. Cuba perihalkan diri sendiri tanpa meletakkan perkataan 'belum’, 'tiada’, atau perkara yang melibatkan individu lain. Tulislah hanya tentang diri kita - mungkin dengan ini akan mengajar untuk lebih bersyukur.

i saw this one post earlier on twitter - a link connects to someone's curiouscat account. Anon : macam mana nak move on from our past sin? aku selalu takut my future partner tak boleh terima masa silam aku.  Ib : bertaubat dan tak perlu bercerita kat sesiapa. Anon : tapi kalau partner tanya, perlu bagitahu ke? Ib : tak. Anon : aku ni dah la handsome. quite successful too. dari sekolah menengah lagi perempuan selalu confess kat aku, yet aku tak pernah couple apatah lagi berzina. tapi kalau nanti dapat isteri yang dah tak suci dan dia rahsiakan kisah silam dia, and i continue living my life believing that she is, how dizalimi would i be? Ib : cuba cerita apa kerugian yang kau dapat dari situasi tu? short kind of answer, but holds a really significant meaning. i get familiar with this kind of statement when i was reading books by Teme Abdullah - Empayar series.  so let's kill two birds with one stone, shall we? (let's digging in both the text above and Teme's book - if you...

'following the flow' familiar? how would you understand this term in a general life context? some might say, following the flow is to live a life just the way it is, to accept what's coming and let them go when they're out of reach. simply let the flow leads your life without doing anything. or, do your very best to shape how do you want your life turns out to be. but whatever happens you'll going to accept it because life goes on anyway. you grasp a good grip of how life flows - you remove every circumstances that's coming your way to have a smooth journey, but you could not avoid certain things that might cause your flow to be obstructed, somehow. but you keep going anyway. or, it might refers to the flow of the society you live in. you just decided to just follow what the society told you to be?  - uh huh, this kind of people exists.  aaand which one clicks the best to you? i live with the second one. i did my best - fit to my own capability (i thought so), b...

what comes into your mind when talking about 'life goals'?  some might say, 'to graduate with a first class degree at the age of 23', 'to be able to own a car within the first year of having a job', 'to own a house and get married at the age of 25' yada-yada the list goes on.  from the life goals stated above, can you recognize the problems are?  age. yeah of course, there's nothing wrong to set a goal in order to achieve certain things in your life, before you're reaching that certain age. but i think what's wrong is - the desperation that comes along with the aim.  something happened during your study, which caused you to not being able to graduate on time - you get disappointed with your own expectations, and you decided to just give up. when in fact, more failures teach you a lot more to improve and to be better in the future. you get a decent job, but covid happens, and you get fired because the company need to cut off the budget. you ha...

dental usm - 17th batch Alhamdulillah. things went well. the result was announced yesterday. and guess what?? yess you guessed it right - i managed to survive dental school! later than most people at my age, but who cares? i did it! broken and bruised but i win the game.  it feels good, at the moment (at least). i know it is 'thousands miles away' ahead, but i'm proud that i have move a little bit forward from where i was. it is truly a journey. well, if i would put some of the highlights to the years.. first year - the adaptive year. failed professional examination 1. second year of first year - another adaptive year - of losing friends. and knowing new friends. second year - i lost my father. third year - the feels of first time treating a real patient. heck. terrified but i did dentures for my own mother. it looks good on her. thanks to En. Tan for superb hands skill. :3 mm.. medical, surgical and A&E posting was fun. and i know someone online - but he passed away du...

5 years ago, i was doubting myself - should i quit or should i just go along with dentistry? that was when i failed my professional examination I. i doubt my mental, i doubt my capability. i doubt everything that i had. i was in dilemma to choose dentistry or just quit and figure out something else later. and to be honest, the weight was heavier on the quitting side.  while i was considering a few things here and there, a question from Dr. Nisa, my academic advisor, stick in my head, 'if you didn't fail pro I, would you still be here?' my brain took the question quite seriously. and after a few days, after talking to my parents, siblings and a few friends, i decided to just continue what i have started. i took the failure as a challenge - to never have any failed paper/s anymore in the future, and improve my achievement from time to time.  and now, after six years being in dental school, i'm glad that i made the choice. the doubts are still there at times, but i enjoy t...

i used to be so a grammar-nazi back then. i mean, it's not that i mock a person straight away, but i sometimes showed the text/post to my sister - to laugh at. and i like it when someone corrects someone else on social media about the use of words in their post. but over the years, after seeing so much of other people mocking each others for not using the right grammar, i learn that - those aren't really that important, but the comprehension is. as long as the message was delivered, then it's all good. let alone the grammatical errors because it doesn't really matter though (on social media at least). and i really hate the fact that some people are really going for miles to correct someone's english, but their own language? 'xde kesah pulak. maleh aque nk betulkan ape2. kah'  if you really love languages, then treat them equally. perbaiki penggunaan bahasa inggeris, dan juga perkasakan bahasa ibunda kamu sendiri, bahasa melayu. penggunaan bahasa rojak hanyal...

being an introvert kind of person, i learnt a lot about life by observing others and it makes me think about the reason/s of a certain situations/behaviors.  seeing a person get mad so easily, i cant help it but to think - what makes him/her that way? what happened in the past that makes the person so vulnerable that they want to let out the rage to an innocent person? i mean, things could have been different if you just use a 'kinder' approach. you know, 8 billions people in this world faced things differently in a day, so doing a favor by treating everyone right, wont cost you any cents.  same thing goes to when reading someone's writings - fictional or not. i cant help, but to wonder - what did the writer faced in their life that makes them to come out with those words? how does it happened? i know, things would not just come easily without experience/s. even for fiction, something should had happen that leads their brain to think/create something out of it. all of those...

we often being too focus on other's fault till we forget to sit down and reflect - for what we did in the past and the present time.  they said, people only listen to what they want to hear. and.. by that it means, you and i, are included. i believe that you only listen to what you want to hear, no matter how much i try to explain the real situation is. and you believe that - i only believe that you only listen to what you want to hear, even if i change my mind right after. a little complicated but, get it?  people are really just going to believe in what fits to their convenience - be it in line or against the belief. irony.  that's why it's important to always reflect ourselves. put aside the ego, and try to be in someone's shoes and re-evaluate things from their side, from every aspect that we can think of. may we not be among those that selfish and self-centered person. 

buat peringatan diri sendiri.  sumber:  Bayan Linnas. Elakkan Sifat Bertangguh  (Al-Tasweef) Sifat suka bertangguh ini seperti mana yang telah dikatakan oleh sebahagian salaf adalah sebahagian daripada tentera-tentera iblis [2]  bahkan al-Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jauziyyah (wafat 751H) Rahimahullah di dalam kitabnya  Madarij al-Salikin  mengatakan bahawa sifat bertangguh dan juga angan-angan kosong itu adalah modal bagi kemuflisan [3] . Al-Imam Muhammad bin Ismail al-Bukhari (wafat 256H) Rahimahullah di dalam Sahihnya ada mengemukakan sebuah  athar  daripada Ibn Umar R.Anhuma yang mana menyebut: إِذَا أَمْسَيْتَ فَلاَ تَنْتَظِرِ الصَّبَاحَ، وَإِذَا أَصْبَحْتَ فَلاَ تَنْتَظِرِ الْمَسَاءَ، وَخُذْ مِنْ صِحَّتِكَ لِمَرَضِكَ، وَمِنْ حَيَاتِكَ لِمَوْتِكَ Maksudnya:   Jika kamu berada di waktu petang, jangan kamu tunggu sehingga waktu pagi. Jika kamu berada di waktu pagi, jangan kamu tunggu sehingga waktu petang. Ambillah dari waktu sihat kamu (bagi perse...

وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ ۖ وَلَلدَّارُ الْآخِرَةُ خَيْرٌ لِّلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ ۗ أَفَلَا تَعْقِلُونَ - 6:32 And the worldly life is not but amusement and diversion; but the home of the Hereafter is best for those who fear Allah, so will you not reason? كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ۖ فَمَن زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ ۗ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ - 3:185 Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.

hello. i was supposed to be studying right now, but i can't focus at the moment (or maybe i'm being lazy; or i don't feel like studying; or maybe i'm having the urge to spit this out right now). yes, take all the options because they are all true.  i actually just watched random YouTube videos just now while having my late dinner. and i came across with Hazeman Huzir's video - talking about a trending issue a few weeks ago. and that was about Fxnn Jxmal who's commenting about the rape culture. (long story short: she commented about how rape was actually started from those people that dressed or behave indecently on social media - and those people triggers those potential rapers to rape. #do refer to the original video to judge) i like how Haze commented about this issues, by stating this clearly: 'rogol itu jenayah. apa pun penyebabnya, takkan mengubah status jenayah tersebut. tidak perlu menuding jadi terhadap sesuatu perkara untuk mencari ...

If I were given a chance to recommend a book for everyone to read, I would choose this book, 'The Courage to be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga' There's a lot of things that we can gain benefits by this book, I can guarantee that. It teaches us on how to view things differently by a simple approach and in an organized way to sort the things out in our life.  One of the concept that still stick in my head is about disliking or hating someone.   They portrayed it in this way - hating someone is just temporary. What stays is that, the aim of hate. You think that you need to hate that one person because of what he did in the past, so you decided to find anything negative that related to that person so that you could fulfill the aim, to continuously hate the person. Well if you ask me, how is this important though?  I guess the idea suggests on how to sort the things out in our head so that we can have a better idea on  how our emotions and logics work....

I want to share something that I found on Tumblr.  Al-‘Abbās, the uncle of the Prophet ﷺ, came to the Prophet and said: “Ya Rasūlullāh, teach me a du'ā’.”  The Prophet ﷺ said:  “O my uncle, say:  أَلًْلّٰهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسأَلُكَ أَلًْعَافِيَةً   Allāhumma inni asaluka al-‘āfiyah  (O Allāh, I ask you for ‘āfiyah).” What is ‘āfiyah?  ‘Āfiyah means: To save me from any afflictions.  To be healthy you are in ‘āfiyah.  To have enough money you are in ‘āfiyah.  To have your children protected you are in ‘āfiyah.  And if you are forgiven and not punished you are in ‘āfiyah". Āfiyah means: “O Allāh, protect me from any pain and suffering.” (This includes dunya and ākhirah) Al-'Abbās thought about this for a while, and then he came back after a few days and said: “Ya Rasūlullāh ﷺ, this du'ā’ seems a little short. I want something big.” The Prophet ﷺ said, “My dear uncle, ask Allāh ﷻ for 'āfiyah for wallāhi, you cannot be given anything b...

Sufyan ath-Thawri (Allah have mercy on him) said: "Do not speak about three things: sins, good deeds, and pain. This is indeed the true patience." Source: Abu Nu'aym in his Hilyat al-Awliya, No. 9397.

I guess marriage is not what I used to picture it in my head when I was a kid. It's not what have been portrayed in the romance movies and dramas. It's not what have been written in the novels. It's not like what have been showed by the celebrities and influencers about how blissful and lovely their  marriage are, on social media. Marriage is actually way more deeper and meaningful than that.  Love. I once think that we only get married to the person that we're in love with. The one that gets us head over heels all the time.  But now, I learnt that, the so-called 'love' is not that important to start a marriage. Enough with just the willingness to stay committed to each other (and somewhat attraction is maybe necessary). And love will come later, when the commitment is nurtured with the care and toleration.  Family. I once think that marriage is such a bless when you're having another big family that will treat you like a family. (Eh?...

Procrastination. Sounds familiar, isn't it? You have a list of tasks to deal with, but instead - you just there, rearranging your books on the shelf. You have assignments to submit in a week time, but you're creating a cute bed for your new kitten. You need to contribute your part for group-work project, but instead you just cleaning and washing your bed-sheet for the second time of the week. You said you want to keep updating your blog, but yet, there - all the drafts that never made up to the public view. Familiar now? hm-mm. As most people claimed, procrastination is laziness? Well, I don't think so. Yes, the tasks are not done, but look at what you got? A tidy bookshelf, a cute bed for your cute kitten, a clean bed-sheet for you to sleep comfortably, and drafts on your blog that shows you actually have ideas and intentions to-do-so but-you-didn't. Aren't that cool? aha.  So.. if you think about it closely, procrastination doesn't actually equal to laziness o...